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Fifty Shades of Crap

Fifty Shades MTBy Michael Fitzgerald Troy

Let me begin this by saying that I am a contrarian and often disagree with what satiates most of the spoon-fed populace.  Imagine my horror when I discovered the latest sensation to terrorize the country in the form of a 3-part novel series, Fifty Shades of Grey, by E.L. James. What started as Twilight fanfic and was later reworked into the smut d’jour has exploded into viral popularity in the age of mediocrity.  With titillating bondage and other cornball fantasies to roll your bean to, it is evidently “revolutionizing” life in the bedroom for women everywhere, igniting dormant flames of fire left and right. Even Dr. Oz (that big hornball!) and 20/20 are on the Shades tip.

The thing that gets me the most is that it is utter tripe. So poorly written.  As well written as the garage storage-bound copy of The Housewife’s Horny Urge my brother and I found as adolescents.  And, how well written was that? Well, let’s just say it didn’t make me gay, but it didn’t help either.

In sexually uptight modern America, where fame is launched with a sex tape, high schoolers view b.j.s as handshakes, and everyone has a picture of their crotch on their iPhone, why am I surprised?


 

 


Michael Troy is a deeply superficial person. Born in the midwest in the ’70s, Michael came to Los Angeles to pursue his bi-polar career path as an actor and artist. 2005 saw the release of Michael’s first published book, Homo-Hero’s Big Book of Fun and Adventure (www.greencandypress.com). Michael has contributed to the Lady Gaga comic book from Bluewater Productions and has his hand in various other upcoming projects. Michael has performed stand-up comedy at all of the major comedy clubs in Los Angeles and is making his triumphant return to the main stage of The Comedy Store in September. Michael offers an off-beat sense of humor as the star of such youtube cult classics As The Gays on Film (www.youtube.com/fullfrontaltv), A Minute With Margot, a loving tribute to Superman legend Margot Kidder (http://www.youtube.com/user/rktcommander), and currently hosts a vlog style series Lethally Blonde over at www.monsterburg.com. Sitting alongside industry heavyweight Phil Jimenez at the “Divas and Lassoes” panel for the 2010 San Diego comic-con, Michael maintains and cherishes his “underground” status. A staunch believer in Blonde Ambition, Michael hopes his new comic about shallow blonde super heroes in Los Angeles, The Blonde Squad, will set the world on fire (or at least brighten it a bit). Check out Michael Troy and Lethally Blonde updates here!!!

 

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