You are brilliant and ferociously curious about the nature of everything. You are the quintessential “absent-minded professor.”
A genius scientist who has opened doors to alternate universes and developed drugs that tap into the untold abilities of the human mind. A fearless researcher and intuitive forensic investigator. Always willing to push your theories to the absolute boundaries of possibility, always willing to experiment on yourself and others. Always ready to self-medicate, with legal and not-so-legal substances.
Your laboratory is a minefield of unexplained experiments (“Why is there an ear in the omelet, Walter?!”), dangerous substances, creatures, gadgets . . . and a cow. You are an endless source of scientific and not-so-scientific education (the “One Half Nipple Rule,” the uses of cocaine in emergency revival techniques, the personality traits of fruit, etc.).
You are childlike and uninhibited.
There is no way to predict what you will say . . . in any situation, to anyone. A diatribe against the dangers of food additives (“Death, delicious strawberry-flavored DEATH.”) delivered to a hapless grocery store clerk. A running commentary about any and all bodily functions. A sudden longing for coffeecake in the middle of an autopsy . . . driven by your gleeful love for so many foods . . . milkshakes, red vines, mints . . . just a few in a very long list. Clothing is frequently optional; however, you understand that purple tuxedos will never go out of style.
You revel in situations that would terrify a saner, wiser person. (Of a bumpy plane ride: “The ride back was invigorating. The turbulence over Ohio was like being in the belly of a seizing whale. I screamed like a little girl.”)
You fall asleep best when someone is singing “Row, row, row your boat” to you.
You are fiercely loving and loyal.
You will do anything, take any risk, for the people you love. When that person is your son, the risks may result in the eventual destruction of all reality, but the motivation is rooted in unswaying love. You are always willing to push people to do what (or who) you think is best for them.
You might never remember your assistant’s name (it’s ASTRID . . . not Asterisk or Asgard or Asteriod or Acid . . . or Claire), but you always have her back.
You have an evil twin in an alternate universe. AN EVIL TWIN. Named Walternate. WALTERNATE!
In a show filled with the endless possibilities of science fiction, horror, drama, romance, and friendship, you are the lightning rod that all things swirl around. You are the catalyst for every relationship, every climactic event. Every moment you inhabit is filled with joy and heartache. Every humorous utterance is laced with a tender, aching, personal pain. Every dramatic moment is punctuated with shocking laughter.
You are the very best of all things. I love you, Dr. Walter Bishop.
Your most adoring fan,